Poem sept 17 2021

By Asa Montreaux 

What I didn’t want is to feel I can achieve nothing,

I wanted the dream to end.

All my life, especially the last decade, 

People following me, teasing me, hitting on me

So hard, threatening me, ruining my days,

Not a lost decade,

But for invisible Andrew, sometimes it felt 

A lot was lost.

Recovery was always possible, it had happened before,

That he’d achieved the unthinkable,

That’s how good a lucid dreamer, 

I am.

I want to be past hiding. 

I want to be past feeling helpless,

Because there’s lots I can do,

Now that I’m here.

Is this where the problem is.

What if the problem is a where, and not a who?

A place that harasses foreigners, 

That eats people?

So far away, so small, you not hear a thing,

And nothing would escape the town.

And yet within it, they talk and talk?

How do we get along, Vancouver,

Or when do you let me escape?

Because it’s been nine months.

9-18-2021

That’s tomorrow.

And it’s not an insignificant number.

I want to hit full go.

I know you’re not sure, but you want to know 

So will you let me? 

Just know, I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs,

And I’ve never been to jail.

And it will always be that way. 

I hope can be myself, without giving you a part of myself.